The end of Planet Fidhle
So here I am again. This is sadly the last programme in the series. After many years, the Fidhle tribe is moving on from its settlement here on the island of Taransay. This is not being spoken about openly in the tribe, but various signs and symbols are evident in their dealings with each other.
Ceremonial goblets have been issued to each member of the tribe. An archive of some of the tribal wisdom – in terms of the TEWNS they have played and the food, cooked by elders Isobel and Catherine – is being ritually offered to all tribal members in exchange for monetary coinage.
Kenny, one of the elders, has also written a symphonic scale work which attempts to encapsulate the shared experience of the whole tribal community over the years.
In other respects, this year is similar to others. The wise ones (called TEWTORS) who hold the knowledge and wisdom of the TEWNS, have continued to pass on this wisdom to the tribe at set times called CLASS-EZ. The younger tribal members have been encouraged to create new wisdom, and a ceremonial playing of these TEWNS by PATTSEE led to Robbie Leask being held up high in ritual celebration as the WIN-NER.
There have also been, as in previous years, intense gatherings called SESH-UNS, where the tribal members share their collective wisdom, assisted by ceremonial concoctions prepared by RO-OZ and her herbal acolytes.
But the question hanging over the island community is – what will happen to the elders of the tribe: DOWLANN – the one on a chair, WOOODEE – the one with a parcel, WILLY MAACREE – the one with a boat and KENNEE – the great one (assisted by the newer elders, Murdo, Alastair and Willie2)
How will they manage their time when the tribe disperses for the last time? Have they secretly bought the island to start a new tribe?
I can exclusively reveal, following extensive hacking of their phones, that they are to buy up BSkyB – which they are renaming BStornowayB, and which will continue the tribal traditions by transmitting FIDHLE TEWNS 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
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Best wishes,
Chris Davidson (a.k.a. David)